From mature60plus, WordPress
What porno would have you believe 😂
(With some Ernie Cook edits and adds)
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are always rock hard and ready to go.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70’s couldn’t fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman’s butt.
14. Men always groan “OH YEAH!” when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they “high five” each other (and the girl isn’t disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don’t exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won’t have even the slightest problem with you jamming your cock in his girlfriend’s mouth.
19. There’s a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patient’s cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she’ll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches… or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man’s cock, it’s important for him to remind her to “suck it”.
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman’s butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man’s trouser and find a cock there.
29. Men don’t have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman’s head and the other proudly on his hip.
31. Every guy has a penis as big as a horse’s.
32. All women are completely bald on her muff. (Hairy wives group excepted)
33. Women really don’t mind being picked up off the street and then fucked in a moving van. Or walking into a repair shop and being gang-banged.
34. Any girl with pigtails or in a plaid skirt is a teen.
35. Any other girl is a milf.
36. Women care about the size of a man’s penis.
37. Women orgasm from anal sex.
38. A man or a woman will lick a cock just removed from his or her anus.
39. A woman’s squirt is something other than piss (not referring to the natural moistness of pleasant intercourse).
40. Women enjoy rape, as in drunken unconsented sex, gangbang, an attack in a public restroom, the old man-neighbor or boss forcing himself on her (mainly in Japanese porn), etc.
41. A woman who enjoys her body and consensual sex with several partners of her choosing is a slut.